Team Palm Tree (part 2)

"I am happy, because I get to live my life."
[bridget.healy]

haven't read part 1? click here

Just before the first semester of being an RA was ending, one of the "Quiet Hour RAs" [who lived in the dorms with students] was transitioning into an instructor position. This meant that someone had to fill the empty Quiet Hour RA spot. Yup - you guessed it! Instead of hiring someone else to fill the position, I decided to upgrade my status as a "Floater RA" to living the real college life in a dorm with three girls from the program. I had no idea what I was getting into.

I had always lived with my parents or with family, so this was my first real time being on my own for school in a dorm! The dorm apartments were not actually that bad. There were four individual rooms, two bathrooms, a small living room area, and a kitchen.

Just like at the beginning of the fall semester, we had to be on campus the week before classes started for orientation week. The students didn't come until the weekend before classes started, so my week alone was full of lots of fun - which included ice cream parties with friends while we watched Disney movies, and I also threw in a few dates now and then...

date night for the win.

The semester began and life as I knew it completely changed. I loved being more involved in the residential housing aspect of the program and being with the students. This new position as an RA was so wonderful, especially waking up at 6:00am every morning because your roommate next to you decided it was okay to play the Glee version of "Don't Stop Believing" on their CD player. We had our ups and downs, but ultimately at the end of the semester we were a family.

Fast forward to my second year of being in this program. One of my friends from church, Katie, was going to be a RA for the university, and another one of my friends also from church, Jenny, was going to be a Quiet Hour RA in the dorms - because remember, the residential housing program doubled in size.

me + jenny + katie

The three of us got very close during both semesters. When Katie was not on duty, she would come over and hang out with us and our students, do homework together, cook dinners together, etc. We were a team. There is no hesitation to say that Jenny was my hero this year. I could always count on her  to be available to take care of my girls when I wasn't feeling well. I knew that she would always be there to talk with me about all my life problems [we had many late night chats] or to encourage me and pray with me about things I was struggling with. I don't know what I would have done without her.

But before now, our moto "we bend, but never break" seemed cute and fun, but we never really understood what it really meant. At the beginning of last spring's semester, we had a plethora of students getting sick with the flu. The program's policy was that if a student does not get better within 2-3 days, then their parents need to come and pick them up [if they live relatively close by] to recover at home. One particular student in Jenny's dorm had the flu and her mom came and picked her up to recover.

A year ago today was just a normal day. I woke up, had breakfast, and at 10:30 headed off to my 2 hour and 40 minute "Intro to Integrative Studies" class [sounds fun, right? wrong. unless my professor brought us candy]. Once class was done at 1:15, I headed back to my apartment, ate lunch, and started working on some homework. It was a normal Friday until my phone went off. Normally I don't get calls from my uncle - especially when he's at work - unless he meant to call my dad, or he actually did mean to call me to give me his expert advice on my life. Even though this call was unusual I answered, and it would change my life.

"hello?"

"Andrea Grace. Where are you?"

"I just got out of class and am back at my apartment doing homework. why?"

"Is Bridget in the dorms?"

"No. Her parents picked her up a few days ago and she went home because she was sick."

"Oh. Well, I just got a call from Dr. Graff a little bit ago. Bridget passed away last night."

If I had ever had a "deer in the headlights" moment, this was it. I was speechless and could hardly breathe. I tried to make it through the phone call with my uncle without bursting into tears. In the span of just a few minutes after that call, I received texts from my mom [who was told by my aunt] and my cousin, both checking to make sure that I was okay. I was sitting on my bed, crying my eyes out, with no one physically to talk to about this. So I called a fellow co-worker who I knew wasn't in class and told him what happened, and cried even more.

Even though I tried, there was no way that I was going to be able to concentrate on my homework now. My mind was in a million and one different places. I knew that I would melt into a puddle if I stayed in my apartment any longer, so I got my wallet and went out for a drive. I didn't know where I was going, and I didn't care. I eventually found myself at the frozen yogurt place across from campus [i mean, after all "stressed" spelled backwards is "desserts" right?]. I slowly ate my chocolate frozen yogurt topped with mini chocolate chips thinking about this new reality.

I couldn't finish eating my frozen yogurt without feeling guilty that I wasn't with the rest of my students. Part of me didn't want to be around them because I was afraid to help them through this. My special education classes taught me behavior management strategies and how to teach students with special needs, but they certainly did not prepare me for this. 

I finally made myself go back to campus and to be with my students and fellow coworkers. Walking in that building would never be the same after today. Some of the administrative staff were helping to counsel students about the situation, while others were comforting students with this loss. Between all of us in program, I think we killed about 4 trees with all the tissues we used. But on a more serious note - this day, this sad situation, would not only change our lives forever, but would make us closer as a team.

I got more hugs that day than I had in my entire life. That night was also the annual Best Buddies Valentines Day dance. "How do I make sure the students have a good time at the dance when I can hardly function?" I thought to myself. But that night, team palm tree united together like never before. As a Residential Housing staff, we talked with the director of the program about what things were going to look like the next few days. We all knew that it wasn't going to be easy, but what we did know is that we were going to help each other through this. After we were done we stood up in a circle with our arms around each other, in silence, until one of the guys looked up and encouragingly said "hey guys! we are team palm tree. we bend, but don't break."

Bridget was one of the sweetest people I have ever met. Every morning the alarm on her phone would go off to a "High School Musical" song. She enjoyed going to Mason basketball games, her favorite color was pink, and most of all, she was a great classmate, friend and roommate.

Her motto in life was "I am happy, because I get to live my life." How often do we go through life happy just because we get to live our lives? Many times we take for granted the countless blessings that we experience in this life. I'm not just talking about our physical blessings - houses, clothes, food, etc. - but LIFE! Every breath we breathe is an undeserved gift from God. The Bible says that no one knows the day or the hour. So not only should we be happy each day because we get to live our lives, we should seek to be happy because we get to live our lives for JESUS, our Savior - who willingly came to earth in the form of man, lived a perfect life, and took our place to die a cruel death on a cross being humiliated and shamed.

It's hard to believe that it has only been a year. Her memory will forever be in our hearts. Even though I had already withdrew from school, the "free time" I now had gave me a chance to put together this slideshow to show at the Mason LIFE graduation last May.

Rest in peace dear Bridget.