Going to the Chapel

"Someday when you're looking back on your life
At the memories, this is gonna be one of those nights."
[tim.mcgraw]

My best friend was falling in love and I went and surprised her for the weekend. The time with her was spent going to Half Price Books, exploring this amazing antique store called Peddlers, getting lost in this huge 2-story forever 21, and of course lots of laughter. But, this visit wouldn't be complete if we didn't talk about boys. She wanted to know what was going on in my "like life" while I wanted to know how her and Drew were doing in their relationship. One night while I was there, we sat on her bed and watched some girly chick flick on Netfilx and once it was done she exclaimed, "Andi! Have you seen my wedding board on Pinterest?" Which then led us to talk about weddings, what colors she wanted to have, what styles of dresses her bridesmaids were going to wear, etc.

Well, it was January 23rd. I had just finished up my online winter class that I was taking [side note: taking 16 weeks worth of educational psychology information in 2 1/2 weeks..? You might as well start digging your grave. But thankfully I passed]. I texted DJ since I hadn't talked to her in a while because I was busy dying of educational psychology. So I told her how God had been encouraging me recently and given me peace in my circumstances. And then of course I asked her about what was happening with her "future things."

I'm good. :) drew has been talking with my parents more. and having tons of meetings with our pastor. and 2 really big things, we are talking about apartments, budgets, and rings. And I tried on rings!!! We were at peddlers and he asked if I would try some on so he could see what stuff looked like on my finger. Oh man! Talk about butterflies!!!!!! And he was talking like he knew all this stuff about rings and settings and styles and everything!!!

Me being the encouraging friend I am, then proceeded to ask her if there was going to be a wedding this winter or next spring and when I would need to order my plane ticket to Kentucky. To which my dear friend responded, "Haha! Wedding... we'll decide that when he proposes. He promised it would be this year though! :)"

On February 6th Drew flew to Maryland for 2 weeks to work for his parents and earn more money. DJ would text me and tell me that she was a mess and how she "doesn't do well when he is not around." Then next day I got a text from her saying that she was coming to maryland. Her wonderful boyfriend bought her a ticket to come up here for 4 days to spend time with her family and friends. I was so excited to be able to see her, but I knew there were a lot of things going on that weekend for me and I was going to be busy. So we immediately started planning when I could see her. Since I didn't have class until noon the Monday she would be here I told her that maybe we could grab starbucks or something before I had to go to class. It was a date.

Fast-forward to Monday, February 11th.

It was just a normal day. I got up, did my normal morning routine, went to school, barely stayed awake in my classes, came home and started doing homework in my room. All of a sudden my phone started vibrating. So I looked to see who was calling. It was Drew. Something you need to know: Drew never texts me OR calls me. Knowing this I hesitantly picked up the phone...

me: hello?

drew: hi andi! how are you?

me: good. happy birthday by the way! how are you?

drew: pretty good. so I have a favor to ask of you. are you going to be around this weekend?

me: yeah I should be. I have rehearsal on Friday and Saturday and have to do homework. But I should be around. why? 

drew: well, on Saturday I'm proposing to DJ when she comes. And I was thinking that you could take pictures and we could do something similar to the whole freaking out about Nutter Butters like you did when I cam and asked her out.

Shut. Up. Excuse me?

drew: oh. by the way, this is kind of a surprise. so don't tell anything to DJ.

Well, we talked for 7 whole minutes about how this was going to work out. I hung up the phone and immediately ran in my parent's room and told my mom. Did Drew know I text DJ everyday? Did he know how hard of a secret this was going to be to keep?? Well, once that phone call was done I have to admit, I tried my best to focus on finishing reading about the History of American Education. But, happiness got the best of me and I ended up on Pinterest looking at engagement pictures.

Now, I needed to convince DJ that Saturday was the only day I could hang out with her. After I had calmed down a little from that phone call I texted DJ and told her that I was super stressed with school and I had a lot of homework to do that week and due the following week. So I told her that the time on Monday before my class I should probably use to do homework. Then I asked her if we could hang out Saturday after her flight came in. The response? "I'll have to ask drew!" Perfect.

Fast-forward again.

It was FINALLY Saturday. I was just about dying with anticipation of her arrival and what was going to happen that day. I don't know how I survived keeping that secret for 5 days, but somehow made it through. I was up early for play rehearsal and I received this wonderful text:

Now, I just had to make it through rehearsal and get home and get ready for the 'big event' that was about to happen. I got home, ran around my house like a chicken with it's head cut off, got my camera from upstairs and put my dad's lens on it and laid it next to his photography equipment in the dining room to make it not look suspicious. Then, I anxiously did homework in the basement until 2:30 when Drew and I decided that he would drop DJ off. 

I heard a knock on the front door and dad's loud footsteps walking to answer the door. I ran upstairs and embraced my dear friend with excitement [she had no idea what was about to happen]. She said goodbye to Drew and we headed downstairs to my basement. I went to where I was sitting on the couch doing homework and buried myself in a blanket in front of the space heater. She followed behind me and asked if she could get a blanket and take her shoes off.

dj: wait. I can take my shoes off. we're not going anywhere are we?
me: no we're not going anywhere. we'll just hang out. make yourself comfortable.

Before you all start telling me that I am a bad friend and that I lied to her, I didn't. I simply meant that we weren't going anywhere in the next half an hour. So, we sat on the couch talking and catching up. A while ago she found some old letters that we wrote to each other back in high school - before the age of texting. And let me tell you something. If you ever want to be humbled, find old letters you wrote to your best friend and re-read them. So rich of wonderfulness. We read through all 3 or 4 of the letters I had written to her over the course of high school. Finally, I received the text.

drew: okay. I'm here. come out and tell me where I have to stand for you to take pictures

How was I going to transition to talking about old high school memories and needing to get upstairs and outside??

me: oh! so this morning before rehearsal I went to giant and got my choir girls lollipops because they have done such a good job this week with music and motions and acting, etc. and while I was there I grabbed some Nutter Butters in honor of your visit. But I was so busy after rehearsal that I left them in the car. can I go get them and then I'll come right back?
dj: sure!

awesome. stage 1 was complete. I grabbed my phone and headed upstairs. I got my coat out of the closet and grabbed my camera that was sitting on the floor. Went outside and shut the door. Drew was standing out front and I started explaining how she didn't suspect anything and how perfect this was. Until I realized that the door was probably locked and he wouldn't be able to go through the front door. Plan B: open the garage door. We walked around to the side of my house and I showed him where I was going to be hiding and where he needed to stand/kneel in order for me to take pictures. He departed and started walking inside while I hid on the side of the house.

As a photographer, you always imagine that things will perfectly work out. Well, let's just say they didn't. To begin with, when I first got into my little hiding place I stepped in a big pile of mud. Secondly, while I was waiting for him to go inside and bring her outside, my smart photographer brain decided that it would be a good idea to take a test picture to make sure all my settings were correct. I turned on my camera and took my test picture. There was nothing. My camera was not taking any pictures. Frantically I tried to figure out what was wrong, realizing that they would be out any minute. I found out that my battery was too dead to take any pictures. I jumped out of my little mud pile hiding spot and ran back through the garage to see if Drew was still outside. He wasn't. I contemplated going inside to get my other battery but there was no time. Breathe Andi. Breathe. I ran back to my hiding spot and remembered that my phone was in my pocket. Who says that you can't use 21st century inventions like iPhones to take pictures of your best friend getting proposed to??

So there I stood. In the mud, awaiting one of the most exciting things in my life, with my iPhone. And then, it happened.

After many gasps, tears of joy, and a random skater kid who walked passed them during the middle of the proposal, my best friend was now finally engaged. I started to feel awkwardly intrusive on their "moment", so I climbed out of my hiding spot and went inside to get the camera battery I had been charging earlier that day. I came down to the dining room to change batteries and since the door was open and they were standing out in front of the house, I figured that I would make up from earlier and take pictures.

They eventually came inside and celebrated with myself and my parents. My dad asked them what they were going to do next, and Drew happily said that they had a pretty packed schedule. So we both got in our cars and went our separate ways. They went up the street to DJ's other bestie's house and had a private celebration moment with her and her family, while I went to Drew's parent's house where the engagement party would soon happen. 

Gathered were Drew's parents, DJ's parents and siblings, and some of DJ and Drew's close friends. There was also lots of yummy food. We were standing in the kitchen talking when the door opened and Nick, our "look out", came in and asked us if they were driving a green car. I said yes, and we all waited to congratulate them. "What do we yell? 'Surprise'? 'Congratulations'?" Well, I think it ending up being a mixture of both. "SURPRATULATIONS!!!!"

"guys! I'm getting married!!!"

tissues from her future father-in-law

telling the proposal story

telling the proposal story

telling the proposal story

It was ridiculous how happy she was. If you gave me a dollar for every time DJ said "wow" or "oh my gosh" or "I'm getting married!", I think it could have got enough money to pay my way through the rest of college. You think I'm joking, but I am being completely serious. After they were done telling the proposal story we gathered in the living room for a "toast" by Drew's parents. And the rest of the night was filled with fellowship, fun and encouragement for the newly engaged couple. 

Dearest buttercup, we have been talking about and thinking about this day for the past 8 years. Wondering who your special guy would be, wondering when he would ask you out, wondering when you would get engaged. Well now all your dreams are coming true. It has been amazing to be on the outside of your relationship looking in. I have loved seeing how God has written your love story. I have loved being one of your best friends these past few years and making many, many memories with you. I am excited for this new season of your life and helping you plan the next few months before you get married. I love you with all my heart and couldn't be happier for you.

talk about some BLING!

Team Palm Tree (part 2)

"I am happy, because I get to live my life."
[bridget.healy]

haven't read part 1? click here

Just before the first semester of being an RA was ending, one of the "Quiet Hour RAs" [who lived in the dorms with students] was transitioning into an instructor position. This meant that someone had to fill the empty Quiet Hour RA spot. Yup - you guessed it! Instead of hiring someone else to fill the position, I decided to upgrade my status as a "Floater RA" to living the real college life in a dorm with three girls from the program. I had no idea what I was getting into.

I had always lived with my parents or with family, so this was my first real time being on my own for school in a dorm! The dorm apartments were not actually that bad. There were four individual rooms, two bathrooms, a small living room area, and a kitchen.

Just like at the beginning of the fall semester, we had to be on campus the week before classes started for orientation week. The students didn't come until the weekend before classes started, so my week alone was full of lots of fun - which included ice cream parties with friends while we watched Disney movies, and I also threw in a few dates now and then...

date night for the win.

The semester began and life as I knew it completely changed. I loved being more involved in the residential housing aspect of the program and being with the students. This new position as an RA was so wonderful, especially waking up at 6:00am every morning because your roommate next to you decided it was okay to play the Glee version of "Don't Stop Believing" on their CD player. We had our ups and downs, but ultimately at the end of the semester we were a family.

Fast forward to my second year of being in this program. One of my friends from church, Katie, was going to be a RA for the university, and another one of my friends also from church, Jenny, was going to be a Quiet Hour RA in the dorms - because remember, the residential housing program doubled in size.

me + jenny + katie

The three of us got very close during both semesters. When Katie was not on duty, she would come over and hang out with us and our students, do homework together, cook dinners together, etc. We were a team. There is no hesitation to say that Jenny was my hero this year. I could always count on her  to be available to take care of my girls when I wasn't feeling well. I knew that she would always be there to talk with me about all my life problems [we had many late night chats] or to encourage me and pray with me about things I was struggling with. I don't know what I would have done without her.

But before now, our moto "we bend, but never break" seemed cute and fun, but we never really understood what it really meant. At the beginning of last spring's semester, we had a plethora of students getting sick with the flu. The program's policy was that if a student does not get better within 2-3 days, then their parents need to come and pick them up [if they live relatively close by] to recover at home. One particular student in Jenny's dorm had the flu and her mom came and picked her up to recover.

A year ago today was just a normal day. I woke up, had breakfast, and at 10:30 headed off to my 2 hour and 40 minute "Intro to Integrative Studies" class [sounds fun, right? wrong. unless my professor brought us candy]. Once class was done at 1:15, I headed back to my apartment, ate lunch, and started working on some homework. It was a normal Friday until my phone went off. Normally I don't get calls from my uncle - especially when he's at work - unless he meant to call my dad, or he actually did mean to call me to give me his expert advice on my life. Even though this call was unusual I answered, and it would change my life.

"hello?"

"Andrea Grace. Where are you?"

"I just got out of class and am back at my apartment doing homework. why?"

"Is Bridget in the dorms?"

"No. Her parents picked her up a few days ago and she went home because she was sick."

"Oh. Well, I just got a call from Dr. Graff a little bit ago. Bridget passed away last night."

If I had ever had a "deer in the headlights" moment, this was it. I was speechless and could hardly breathe. I tried to make it through the phone call with my uncle without bursting into tears. In the span of just a few minutes after that call, I received texts from my mom [who was told by my aunt] and my cousin, both checking to make sure that I was okay. I was sitting on my bed, crying my eyes out, with no one physically to talk to about this. So I called a fellow co-worker who I knew wasn't in class and told him what happened, and cried even more.

Even though I tried, there was no way that I was going to be able to concentrate on my homework now. My mind was in a million and one different places. I knew that I would melt into a puddle if I stayed in my apartment any longer, so I got my wallet and went out for a drive. I didn't know where I was going, and I didn't care. I eventually found myself at the frozen yogurt place across from campus [i mean, after all "stressed" spelled backwards is "desserts" right?]. I slowly ate my chocolate frozen yogurt topped with mini chocolate chips thinking about this new reality.

I couldn't finish eating my frozen yogurt without feeling guilty that I wasn't with the rest of my students. Part of me didn't want to be around them because I was afraid to help them through this. My special education classes taught me behavior management strategies and how to teach students with special needs, but they certainly did not prepare me for this. 

I finally made myself go back to campus and to be with my students and fellow coworkers. Walking in that building would never be the same after today. Some of the administrative staff were helping to counsel students about the situation, while others were comforting students with this loss. Between all of us in program, I think we killed about 4 trees with all the tissues we used. But on a more serious note - this day, this sad situation, would not only change our lives forever, but would make us closer as a team.

I got more hugs that day than I had in my entire life. That night was also the annual Best Buddies Valentines Day dance. "How do I make sure the students have a good time at the dance when I can hardly function?" I thought to myself. But that night, team palm tree united together like never before. As a Residential Housing staff, we talked with the director of the program about what things were going to look like the next few days. We all knew that it wasn't going to be easy, but what we did know is that we were going to help each other through this. After we were done we stood up in a circle with our arms around each other, in silence, until one of the guys looked up and encouragingly said "hey guys! we are team palm tree. we bend, but don't break."

Bridget was one of the sweetest people I have ever met. Every morning the alarm on her phone would go off to a "High School Musical" song. She enjoyed going to Mason basketball games, her favorite color was pink, and most of all, she was a great classmate, friend and roommate.

Her motto in life was "I am happy, because I get to live my life." How often do we go through life happy just because we get to live our lives? Many times we take for granted the countless blessings that we experience in this life. I'm not just talking about our physical blessings - houses, clothes, food, etc. - but LIFE! Every breath we breathe is an undeserved gift from God. The Bible says that no one knows the day or the hour. So not only should we be happy each day because we get to live our lives, we should seek to be happy because we get to live our lives for JESUS, our Savior - who willingly came to earth in the form of man, lived a perfect life, and took our place to die a cruel death on a cross being humiliated and shamed.

It's hard to believe that it has only been a year. Her memory will forever be in our hearts. Even though I had already withdrew from school, the "free time" I now had gave me a chance to put together this slideshow to show at the Mason LIFE graduation last May.

Rest in peace dear Bridget.