Dear Mr. Hodgkins (part 2)

Let us continue with more learned experiences from this past 6 months.

4. Set fun goals for yourself

During the many times of not feeling well I had a lot of time to plan and think (which may or may not be a good thing if you know me well). I would get on my computer and plan out my life and what I wanted to do. When I felt good I would look at different colleges and degrees to pursue and what I wanted to do for my Masters, which then led me to a particular city (most likely in Virginia...in the south), which then led to consistent house hunting and the urgent desire to pack up and move. Obviously moving wasn’t an option, so I set other goals for myself.

Educate yourself - Knowing that I was not going to attend school this fall semester, but not wanting to completely become academically illiterate, I wanted to purchase a college book on education to keep those school brain cells active. It was a book on Reading and Language Development which is what I hope to pursue after my Bachelors. I purchased the book probably back in the middle of May...just started reading it about a week and a half ago. Sometimes when you have no mental capacity your motivation level goes negative.

Cook! - Okay, well maybe have dreams of cooking. The week immediately following treatment I pretty much had no appetite at all and could barely eat anything. The thought of food was sickening and I didn’t want to have any part of it. On the flip side of that, during the “non-treatment weeks” I would slowly start to gain an appetite and couldn’t stop thinking of or eating food. Which led to all sorts of cravings - Chipotle, Sakura, Chinese, Pizza, Olive Garden, Smoothie King.

best brother award goes to the one who surprises me with Smoothie King

homemade chips and guac. always wonderfully delicious

Olive Garden - Salad, Breadsticks, Chicken Alfredo Pizza

A healthy tummy, is a happy tummy. So I decided to find recipes and start a cookbook to eventually take with me when I get my own apartment and become responsible. Although I have tried to find recipes of nutrients I have discovered that two-thirds of my cookbook contains dessert recipes. Well, stressed spelled backwards is desserts...we were definitely going through a stressful time... point proven.

Organize - I like to have many dreams and aspirations in life, but sometimes lack the motivation to actually accomplish those things. Such things as your room. Ha! With lack of energy, not feeling well and mostly sleeping in the basement (because it was much cooler than my room in the summer), after my dear father brought everything from my dorm home it sat many lonely hours in my room, nothing unpacked, collecting dust. Slowly as I gained energy I would try and do a little each day. There is still a lot of non-dorm stuff to go through and organize, but we have come a long ways...

5. There is always, ALWAYS an excuse for ice cream

Remember those random cravings? Yeah, most of them included eating ice cream, drinking milkshakes, etc. multiple times a day and consecutively throughout the week. And there is nothing better than having an ice cream party with friends. 

There are also those unnamed people who will go out of the way to bless you with ice cream. They really do have good intentions. Really, they do. Or at least try to...

Dad: You have done such a great job this week. You are my inspiration. I think you deserve some ice cream

Me: So basically what you’re saying is, “I am using you as an excuse to go get ice cream from safeway.”

Dad: So is Black Raspberry Chocolate Chip okay?

Dad: Hey girl, how are you feeling?

Me: Well, I tried to eat something...but I kinda just got sick so I’m resting.

Dad: Oh okay, I’m sorry. So I’m going to the grocery store, do you want any ice cream?

Me: Um, I just got sick...

And just when you start craving ice cream again and go to the freezer, you find this:

6. Long days at Hopkins = accessorizing with friends

As many hospital visits go, basically you wait. a LOT. Your labs could be at 8am but you would have to wait hours for the results to be processed to see where your counts were. Then wait until there was space available in the station to receive treatment. Then wait for the drugs to be made. Then wait for treatment to be over. Most visits turned out to be much longer than expected. But as the weeks went on we kind of got use to them. Especially when you are “accessorized” during the day and make wearing masks fun.

7. Always seek to have fun

No commentary necessary for this. After all, a picture is worth a thousand words...and I have 4 :)

daydreaming at the mall...

inventing ways to stay cool when it is over 100 degrees outside and you can't get in the water...

just a normal Sunday afternoon hanging out with friends.

“The goodness of God is maintained by relating each event to an intended good by placing it within the context of His own design, to be revealed at the end of time.” _melvin.tinker

(to be continued...)

Dear Mr. Hodgkins (part 1)

You give and take away for my good

For who am I to say what I need?

For You alone see the hidden parts of me

that need to be stripped away.

[laura.story]

Well folks, as of this past Tuesday, the long 6 months have come to an end. (cue the angels in heaven rejoicing). It is definitely not an understatement to say that we are all very happy and excited for the conclusion of this journey. Personally, and as a family, we have all learned so much from this experience - more that could fit in a blog post (comfortably at least). So sets of three are always good. Thus begins my three part “series” overviewing all that has happened the past 6 months.

1. You must name everything.

Um...yeah. So I’m the type of person who is a color-coding freak. When it comes to school planners everything is neatly written and I put all my exam/paper dates down on the calendar organized by color for quick reference. [as for the organization of my room, well that’s a work in progress...you can ask my mom.]

So why not name things too? I decided to name my PICC line George. For those of you who don’t know what a PICC line is, it’s basically a flexible tube thing that goes through a vein in my right arm that bends around to the large vein near the heart. So this tube thing was used to give me all my drugs and fluids and draw blood for labs (because who wants to get stuck with a needle a million times?).

Then as I started losing my hair I got a wig (which happens to be the exact color of my natural hair..kinda weird) and I proudly named her Lucy. Don’t ask me why - but it might be related to Lucille Ball and the “I Love Lucy” show which I grew up on.

And last but certainly not least: the oxygen tanks. You thought naming my wig was weird? Well, it just got a lot more interesting. There were three different types of tanks: an electronic stationary tank, 3 small portable tanks, and a large tank (for emergency purposes like no power, etc). So basically all that is happening in those tanks are bubbles floating around (well not everything, but you get the idea). Yup, so Bubbles was the name of my stationary tank. Then there were the baby triplet Bubbles (portable tanks). Then Grandma Bubbles was the large tank (it was on wheels...I found it appropriate). Not to mention in high school I was given the nickname "Bubbles" - so yeah, it kinda fit.

2. Starbursts are a gift from God - seriously though.

So because George is a fragile thing, it needs to be cleaned. This requires weekly bandage dressing changes and it being “flushed”. The flushing process is just a tube of saline to clear the line of any small pieces of fiber or something... (can you tell I’m NOT a medical person?) When the day is done they also put heprine in to keep it un-clotted for the week. Throughout all of the 6 months, George only “acted up” and was clogged twice.

Okay so with the Starbursts... I don’t know how else to put it except for the fact that saline tastes nasty! It didn’t effect me at first, but as the months went on, man oh man did it make me sick. I tried Jolly Ranchers to take the taste away - didn’t help. Then, I discovered the magical-ness (yes that is a word) of Starbursts.

3. Find a cave and prepare to watch many baseball games and movies on Netflix.

During the beginning months when I was in a lot of pain (as a result of the tumor breaking apart) and sick, I didn’t really feel like doing much. So that’s when you hide in your dark basement (aka: cave) and focus on watching many baseball games (go Nats!) on television and random things on Netflix with your mom. And when you are really feeling good and not sick, Food Network stalking is always a good thing (more on that later).

We definitely experienced some great memories during these times. But most of the time it wasn’t all butterflies and unicorns. Dear Mr. Hodgkins (part 2) coming up next...

A picture is worth a thousand words

Well, the saying goes “a picture is worth a thousand words”. But what if 300 words could change a life?

Growing up in the church I have been blessed with the generosity and kindness of “church family”. When we were packing and getting ready to move up north there were many people from our local church who came over to the house to help my mom pack, or help clean, or help paint the house and get it ready to sell. As I finished high school and entered the beginning years of college the church family generosity didn’t stop. 

Two years ago today I attended my cousin’s baby shower. After 19 long years there was going to be a new baby cousin in the family. As friends and family gathered with gifts and excited faces nothing could have prepared us for what was to come. After non-immediate guests left and the family was sitting in the living room, my aunt announced to the family that she had been diagnosed with lung cancer. What? This couldn’t be happening. We must have all heard her say something else. Right? Shock-to-the-boom.

Then March 23, 2012 happened. It was just a normal day. Woke up. Went to class. Drove to my cousin’s house where my dad was doing some remodeling work to have lunch with them. While eating pizza and talking to my cousin about school my dad comes back into the room with tears in his eyes and said, “Albert called me back earlier with your blood results. You are very sick. You have cancer.” What? I’m only 22 years old. In just a few years I’m going to finish college and start my career. This isn’t fair. My brain didn’t even process that. All I was able to say was “okay” and continued eating my pizza.

On the trip home I called my co-worker and dear friend Jenny, who after hearing the news immediately turned in her Bible to verse to share with me and prayed for me right then and there on the phone. When I walked through my front door I saw the love of Christ as my mom, brother, and two close family friends sat in the living room to gather around me and my family and pray for us.

As the days continued, we were all gratefully overwhelmed by encouraging text and facebook messages, financial gifts, meals, “thinking of you” gifts, but most importantly prayer. Prayer is a powerful thing. It has cast out demons, healed the sick and lame, and made the blind man see. There have been times when people have come up to my parents and have said to them, “You don’t know us, but we have been praying for your daughter.” I have also received a 3-ring binder from my old elementary school choir teacher filled with hand-written notes, encouragements, scripture verses and drawings from her current students to me saying they were praying for me. Kids that have never met me, who I don’t know are praying for me? If that doesn’t show you how powerful the body of Christ is I don’t know what else to say to prove it to you.

Coming home last night from a dinner out with the family is just another example of Christ-like blessing. When it came time to pay, the owner told my dad that “someone took care of it already.” Another act of kindness by a church member who came in to pick up a take out order. With being less than a week away from finishing my 6 months of treatment I cannot even begin to describe in words how grateful I am, my family is, for the kindness that has been shown to us. These very small blessings have impacted us on a very small scale.

So back to my original question - what if 300 words could save a life. According to the National Cancer Institute, "approximately 12,400 children in the United States will be diagnosed with some form of cancer this year". The statistics are staggering. Because of modern technology cure rates are improving greatly, but pediatric cancer remains "one of the leading causes of death by disease in children under the age of 15 and claims approximately 3,000 victims each year".

[read more at: http://www.foxnews.com/health/2010/09/10/september-national-childhood-cancer-awareness-month/#ixzz26Ala3H3r]

This month is National Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w75xWhtQ3Lk&feature=youtube_gdata_player] People and organizations all over the nation are using this month to raise awareness and funds for research that will be aimed at treating and possibly finding a cure for this devastating disease.

Well, this newly released touching song by Taylor Swift is not about a girl who wrote a song about a boy who she is “never, ever getting back together” with. This song is about a 3 year old boy who passed away from cancer. I encourage you to listen to the song here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ITrd7fM6aY&feature=youtu.be) and consider buying ‘Ronan’ on iTunes. All of the proceeds are being donated to cancer charities. To read more visit: http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/71841119.html#ixzz267SPqP3l

*I dedicate this blog post to Sarah Faith: cancer survivor and one of the bravest kindergarteners I have been blessed to know*